frustrated birthday to me

I have been in a rather foul mood the last while. I suppose part of it is that my fortieth birthday is approaching, and I have nothing of eternal value to show for it that I did not have when I was twenty.

I have two bachelor’s degrees and the debt to show for it.
I do not have any gainful employment to speak of.
I hold no property of any value.
I hold no rank of any value to the world.
I am not married.
I have no children.

I have no vices of any significant nature.
I have no debts beyond my student loans.
I have no significant physical ailments that I am aware of.

I am of pessimistic and introverted nature.
I am cynically untrusting, yet hope for the best in people.
I am not suicidal.
I deal with cyclical clinical depression, without pharmaceutical meddling.

I am frustrated with my living arrangements, but can do nothing but endure them, unless I want to go live on the street.
At an age when other men are prospering, I am reduced to living in my parents guest room.

I despise the world, and want to live in the Kingdom of God.
I value my citizenship there so much that I will not forfeit it by suicide.
I trust that at some future time, God will help me through all my emotional and physiological miswiring to find some woman who is mete for me, and for whom I am mete.

I trust that is some future time, the economy will improve enough for me to find gainful employment. Whether by my writing efforts which are most of the sum of my current efforts, or by some other effort. However I do not expect that to happen before the spring of 2013, and maybe not then, without some divine intervention.
If God need me employed before then, I need to be sent some positive reinforcement.

If you who are reading this think you can help, please, by all means do so. I have a school portfolio at http://jabberwalky.squarespace.com/
Browse though and see some of what I am capable. There is a contact page, and a bio that tells some of what I am capable of, and how much enthusiasm I have for some of those abilities.

Perhaps the best critique I have gotten so far was that it seamed I did not know what I wanted to do when I grew up. Actually I did, but that changed as I matured. The problem became I did not know who to ask or where to go to get the right answers, and always felt herded in the direction everyone else thought I should go rather than taught how to find and go the direction I wanted to.
At this point if I could do things over, I would focus much more on art and literature, and leave the mechanical stuff to second place, and abandon music lesson's and team sports before starting them.